Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dealing with Divorce part 6

Do not play games and try to be The Good Parent! The "winner" if you will.

So many families get locked into 'her fault-his fault' and 'good guy-bad guy' that they continue this game with the kids through 'parenting', long after the divorce.

Now, it may be true that there is a good and bad parent, but you DO NOT have to turn this
into a game! You simply refuse to play.

If there's bad stuff, handle it in court or with a phone call to the emergency services in your area. But the silly stuff like "he bought that, I bought this" or the "I took them to the doctor because they wouldn't" or the "I feed them good food and you feed them junk" or "I had to buy their shoes" or "I had to take them to get their hair cut"........ all of that should just be done when it needs to be done by whomever the child is with! Simple as that! And where there is a difference in details, just let it go! It's not a "legal issue" if your ex feeds the children Big Macs all weekend. You just tell your children, this is the way we eat here.
Or whatever the case may be.

If it doesn't get done by the other parent- YOU JUST DO IT! Don't expect a trophy! Don't expect an award! Don't even expect any acknowledgement of any kind!

So what if you take them to all their dentist appointments, to all their church activities, to their yearly check up, to the grocery store, to the library every other week, etc... If the other parent wants to gloat because they took the child to the doctor once (and you didn't) so what! Big woopdeedo!

Let them have that one! Just smile and let it be known that you are glad they were watching over them! The end!

Just be the children's parent! And be the best you can be! And don't expect anything from anyone else. If there's an emergency, notify the right people but don't play games! Do not seek to be The Good Parent-- just be a good parent!


Lorri said...

Thank you for your divorce series...it's very good!

Donna said...

You are very welcome!