A Marriage Saver, link

I read this post through a link from WFMW.

I thought others might enjoy the wisdom this lady shared in the article.

Its so opposed to what the world (and Oprah) tell us today.

I wish that I had began to learn these things so much sooner, and had not had to learn them the hard way!

To Be Picky or Not to Be Picky: that is not optional

Warning: this post is not for the faint hearted mother!

It will sound a little tough, but if you are a young mother, it may give you some hope as you 'train up your child in the way they should eat'!

When I had one child, I could let him be a little picky, if he wanted. I could afford a little waste at that time and I really didn't consider eating 'healthy' and frugally', as much as I do now. I must admit that I was young and very naive. :-)

But now that there are 6, five being boys and all six of them eating far more than I ever dreamed....health and frugality and developing character, have become part of their training.

Part of the training started when I learned a couple of verses from the Bible.
1 Cor 10:27 ..... whatsoever is set before you, eat....
Phil 2:14 Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
I told them that this meant "grumbling and complaining".

It was very important to me, and still is (and still is a teaching process ;), that they learn to eat what was put before them without grumbling and complaining. If you read the context of the verse from Corinthians it will fit into the following little story.

My missionary friend told me about visiting a family in the country she was living in. She said she was the "guest of honor" so to speak, and that meant that she got the goat head. Yes, the whole head. She said if she had not ate it, it would have offended the people very much and she would not have had a chance to tell them about the Lord.

I don't know what the Lord will do with my children, but I have high hopes. And, if they are ever on the mission field and are served a goat head, I want them to eat it, so they can tell them about Jesus! :-)

There are times I offer really weird (to our family) foods and allow them the choice of trying it, but if its fixed at meal time and put on their plate, its theirs to eat! :-)

I also sometimes give them the opportunity to tell me what they like and don't like. I know some of them do NOT like fresh tomatoes, yet, they are still served fresh tomatoes. I do give mercy, and give those who like them more and those who don't less, but nonetheless, if its on their plate, they must eat it. :-)

Another important reason that I do this, is because their pediatrician told me when they were little, to keep offering a food, even if they did not like it. He said if it is offered repeatedly over a 6 month period of time, they will begin to "acquire a taste for it". I have found this to be true in most cases. My oldest recently shocked some relatives when he dove for brussel sprouts when they took him out to a food bar!

Another very tough point, that I realize may not fit into some of your parenting styles, and if so, I ask that no one be offended, but just consider the following.

When your children were little, it was natural to them to soil their diaper, but you taught them not to. It was natural for them to sneeze and cough and not cover their mouth, but you taught them to do so. It seemed natural for them to burp whenever they felt the urge or to make other naughty noises, but you taught them that these things were not proper and appropriate in the company of others. ....Right? Well, as tough as this may sound, when they are little, you can likewise teach them not to gag on their food. You don't have to be mean or unkind at all. (I also know that a few children may have health reasons that may make this impossible for some....so please take no offense.)

I watched a friend of mine, whose children were older than mine teach her children in this manner; if they started to spit out their food or gag, she would say in a kind voice, "no no, don't do that, you could choke'' or "don't spit your food out, that's not proper in front of people". She also babysat a lot of children through the years and she said she had taught all of them the same thing. She added that one little fellow never did gag at her house but several times when she had been to his house, he had complained about food and when his mother told him that he had to eat it, he began to gag and she let him down from the table. :-)

I watched her, and used a similar approach with my children and was delightfully surprised that it worked! But I will say, if I had waited until they were older, I am not so sure that I could have gotten the behavior under as much control. Also, I have read of some children rejecting food and it turned out that they were allergic to that food, so those things must be considered and I also understand that this may not bother some mothers at all. This post is ONLY my opinion and MY personal experience, it is non-judgmental.

That said, my children are older now and it is always understood that God gave us our food and we are to eat what's put before us with thanksgiving.

Are they always perfect about their food and sweet spirited? No- but neither am I. :-)
We are all mere humans, and though we strive to be our best, we sometimes fall short.
But the idea is; training. Training means a process and that is what I am doing in our home.

I couldn't fix 8 different things, nor can I afford expensive fun foods for every meal, and they have seen firsthand, the benefits of eating more healthy food(they go long periods without being sick and they often recuperate quickly). I've also made them aware of our food budget and that we must stay within that budget and that means eating frugal foods that aren't every one's favorite all the time.(Thankful they all LOVE beans!) Some meals everyone likes, others are hit and miss. I try to fix things that I know are tolerable for all of them. But that toleration has been a process of feeding them varieties as the Lord provided, trying to fix them in ways that appeal to them the most, offering them repeatedly, and making sure that even during times that is was new and maybe they didn't like it yet, they still had to eat a spoon of it ;-)

My last point on this was considering how my children might act, as children, at another person's home when they were offered food. I want them to be grateful for anything that they are given. Someone had to work and earn money for that food, that is no small matter, and I would not want them to not be thankful for some one's willingness to share their food with them.

Again, this post is non-judgmental. I only wanted to share this perspective and approach, from a FRUGAL point of view....simply as food for thought! ;-)

Bed-wetting.. a tough issue!

I know this is a tough issue for parents and children. I found it to be a very touchy, sensitive issue with children and, at times, a very frustrating one as a parent.






Above are two products that helped us, after all, the biggest monetary concern was the mattress not getting ruined! We also sought after thick underwear and snap-on, lined, undy covers. We were able to find some at various places; once we found some at our local medical supply company for a reasonable rate, and they even had bigger sizes.

The other big concern was how to help the child, especially emotionally, since this is such a delicate and private issue. It's hard isn't it?

Well, first, for me, I had to remember my struggles with it. I was a very hard sleeper growing up and I had a very hard time waking up. I slept like a rock! I tried so hard to stop it, even as a bigger kid, but couldn't seem to figure out how to make myself wake up! One of the last times it happened, I remember dreaming that I had gotten up, walked out my door, down the hall, and to the bathroom, and sure enough, I woke up in a puddle! *blush* ...Alright- I know I'm not the only one! ;-) (Oh come on- don't make me go ask your mommas!;)

But remembering my personal struggle, helped me to have more patience with my own children who had this problem. I did try to protect the bed, and I did try to help them keep it private. I made a rule that no other child could speak about the matter in an embarrassing way nor outside of our home. I limited drinks and sugar before bed, and I tried to wake them up and take them to the bathroom before I went to bed, especially if I knew that they'd had extra drinks.

For two of my kids, getting them up before I went to bed, when they had extra drinks, usually works. For one of my kids, nothing seemed to work until they 'grew out of it'. That was tough, but the bed-pads and other accessories helped preserve the bed and I taught them how to gather and wash their bedding and that helped keep them from feeling so embarrassed- for you see, they didn't even have to tell me, they could just wash their sheets! ;-) (Yeah, double bonus there huh?!)

What about YOU? Anyone else had this trouble? If so, what worked for your children?
And if you want to tell me that I wasn't the only bed-wetter- feel free to join me as I shamelessly try to parent- and blog! :-)

One of our frugal presents... a crazy puzzle

This nutty looking puzzle reminded me of our former (insane) dog, and I was actually laughing out loud in the store when I found it on a clearance rack! I just had to get it for the kids! I let them open it a couple of days before Christmas and they had a blast putting it together.

I have found a strange thing about my kids, perhaps some of you have too. And that is, they don't take real well to "old-fashioned" sorts of things- unless I make them! But once I make them drag down an old board game, pull out a deck of cards, or even buy them a new cheap puzzle- they can't hardly tear themselves away from them! Weird, huh?!? (It also ALWAYS makes a big difference if I play along too- strange phenomenon! But Dobson used to say that kids spell love t-i-m-e!)

More tales from Walmart....

We have 2 Walmarts in Smalltown USA. The one is new and seems quiet as it is off from the main part of town. The other...wow!...its like the Twilight Zone. The past 2 times that my DH and I have taken our children in there, we turned around and walked back out and drove to the other one!

The tale of our last visit:
We drive into the parking lot, and there, getting out of a van is not one, but two people- WEARING PAJAMAS GOING IN THE STORE AT THE GARDEN CENTER!
What happened to the day when people dressed UP to go to town? Maybe that wasn't real.

Well, we pull to the other side and there is a car that is pulling in the parking space and backing up, pulling back in the parking space, and backing up.... I strain my eyes to look and it happens to be an Hispanic man, whom upon exiting his car stumbles several times while attempting to walk towards the door. Hmmm.

We get out of the van, coral the kids and begin to walk towards the door. To our shock, there is this father, trying his hardest to get his kids buckled in on the passengers side of a big white Suburban and he's yelling things like; "are you stupid or something", "why did you get back out of your seat", "what's wrong with you"...And you can just tell that he's really about to lose it. Well, just when I think it can't get anymore interesting, from around the drivers side of the vehicle comes another little toddler who apparently has escaped! The thought runs through my mind "oh boy- he could run over one of them". Then I think of the humor, at this dad trying to get all these children in the car, then he yells out "I think I'm just going to leave you here". I look up to see the mother coming back from putting the buggy up and she just kinda snickers and almost shrugs, while giving me a kind smile. Her response made it all the more comical.

Well, we make it into the store and say hello to Ms. Ivey, a nice older lady who works there. The noise level in there is through the roof nearly. Talking, crying, screaming, beeping, it just seems too much. We try, very hard, to trudge on through.

We get to the pet isle and we make it part of the way down the aisle when a mother with three young children passes us and she also has another lady behind her, pushing the buggy, seemingly trying to help with the children. Well, within seconds, those three little children came unglued! Those three little children began to climb on the dogfood, under the buggy, over the buggy, and they almost appeared to multiply! The mother starts yelling at them by name but I've never seen children act like this respond very well to their mother yelling their name, have you?

My poor DH was trying to talk to me about something and I just looked and said, "You are missing a circus behind me!" My children acted as though they were watching The Three Stooges, they were too shocked to laugh, but they wanted too. Finally one of the three little children jumps up and lands on his back in the dogfood with his feet sticking straight up in the air and one of my DSs, who can't hardly hold his thoughts in, just started telling his dad in a loud, shocked whisper, "Did you see that? His legs were sticking straight up in the air!"

(These children continued to carry on- smacking each other and yelling at each other.)

DH said; "Okay, that's it. Let's go to the other Walmart."

We nearly ran to the van!

Wives: Home Influence on Husbands

(Talmage from The Pathway of Life)
HOME INFLUENCE ON HUSBANDS.

In our efforts to have the mother of every household appreciate her influence
over her children we are apt to forget the wife's influence over the husband.
In many households the influence upon the husband is the only home
influence. In a great multitude of the best and most important and most talented
families of the earth there have been no descendants. There is not a
child or a grandchild, or any remote descendant of Washington, or Charles
Sumner, or Shakespeare, or Edmund Burke, or Pitt, or Lord Nelson, or Cowper,
or Pope, or Addison, or Johnson, or Lord Chatham, or Grattan, or Isaac
Newton, or Goldsmith, or Swift, or Locke, or Gibbon, or Walpole, or Canning,
or Dryden, or Moore, or Chaucer, or Lord Byron, or Walter Scott, or Oliver
Cromwell, or Garrick, or Hogarth, or Joshua Reynolds, or Spenser, or Lord
Bacon, or Macaulay. Multitudes of the finest families of the earth are extinct.
As though they had done enough for the world by their genius or wit, or
patriotism, or invention, or consecration, God withdrew them. In multitudes
of cases all woman's opportunity for usefulness is with her contemporaries.
How important that it be an improved opportunity!
While the French warriors on their way to Rheims had about concluded
to give up attacking the castle at Troyes because it was so heavily garrisoned,
Joan of Arc entered the room and told them they would be inside the castle
in three days.

" We would willingly wait six days," said one of the leaders.
"Six!" she cried out; "you shall be in it to-morrow." And, under her
leadership, on the morrow they entered. Though Joan afterwards suffered
martyrdom at the stake, her glorious deeds will live in the grateful remembrance
of the descendants of those who so cruelly executed her. On a smaller
scale every man has garrisons to subdue and obstacles to level, and every wife
may be an inspired Joan of Arc to her husband. So that whatever be his successes
he will always bless her name for the helpfulness she gave him.
What a noble, wifely ambition, the determination, God helping, to accompany
her companion across the stormy sea of this life and together gain the
wharf of the Celestial City ! Coax him along with you! You cannot drive him
there. You cannot nag him there ; but you can coax him there. That is
God's plan. He coaxes us all the way—coaxes us out of our sins, coaxes us
to accept pardon, coaxes us to heaven. If we reach that blessed place it will
be through a prolonged and divine coaxing. By the same process take your
companion, and then you will get there as well, and all your household. Do
just the opposite to your neighbor. Her wifely ambition is all for this world,
and a disappointed and vexed and unhappy creature she will be all the way.
Her residence may be better than yours for the few years of earthly stay, but
she will move out of it as to her body into a house about five and a half feet
long and about three feet wide and two feet high, and concerning her soul's
destiny you can make your own prognostication. Her husband and her sons
and daughters, who all, like her, live for this world, will have about the same
destiny for the body and the soul. You having had a sanctified and divinely
ennobled wifely ambition, will pass up into palaces, and what becomes' of your
body is of no importance, for it is only a scaffolding, pulled down now that
your temple is done. You will stand in the everlasting rest and see your husband
come in, and see your children come in, if they have not preceded you.
Glorified Christian wife ! Pick up any crown you choose from off the King's
foot-stool and wear it ; it was promised you long ago, and with it cover up all
the scars of your earthy conflict.

Contentment (Talmage)

(taken from The Pathway of Life by T. Dewitt Talmage)

Sweet Content.
HOW TO ATTAIN TRUE HAPPINESS.
IF, in midsummer, I should ask some one, where are the
people of New York, Brooklyn, Boston or Philadelphia, the
answer would be: At Brighton Beach, East Hampton-,
Shelter Island, Long Branch, Cape May, Sulphur Springs
or Europe. But while many are at the pleasure resorts the
larger number are at home, detained by business or circumstances.
But the genuine American is not happy unless he is
going somewhere, and the passion is so great that there are
Christian people with their families detained in the city who come
not to the house of God, trying to give people the idea that they
are out of town; leaving the door-plate unscoured for the same
reason, and for two months keeping the front shutters closed while
they sit in the back part of the house, the thermometer at ninety!
My friends, if it is best for us to go, let us go and be happy. If
it is best for us to stay at home, let us stay at home and be happy.
There is a great deal of good common sense in Paul's advice to
the Hebrews: "Be content with such things as ye have." To be
content is to be in good humor with our circumstances, not picking
a quarrel with our obscurity, or our poverty, or our social position.
There are four or five grand reasons why we should be content
with such things as we have.
We make a great ado about our hardships, but how little we talk of our
blessings. Health of body, which is given in largest quantity to those who
have never been petted, and fondled, and spoiled by fortune, we take as a
matter of course. Rather have this luxury and have it alone, than, without it,
look out of a palace window upon parks of deer stalking between fountains
and statuary. These people sleep sounder on a straw mattress than fashionable
invalids on a couch of ivory and eagle's down. The dinner of herbs tastes
better to the appetite sharpened on a woodman's axe or a reaper's scythe than
wealthy indigestion experiences seated at a table covered with partridge, and
venison, and pineapple.
The grandest luxury God ever gave a man is health. He who trades
that off for all the palaces of the earth is infinitely cheated. We look back at
the glory of the last Napoleon, but who would have taken his Versailles and
his Tuileries if with them we had been obliged to take his gout? "Oh," says
some one, "it isn't the grosser pleasures I covet, but it is the gratification
of an artistic and intellectual taste." Why, my brother, you have the original
from which these pictures are copied.

Female Industry...

(taken from The Pathway of Life by T. Dewitt Talmage)


FEMALE INDUSTRY.
I see in my subject an illustration of the beauty of female industry.
Behold Ruth toiling in the harvest-field under the hot sun, or at noon taking
plain bread with the reapers, or eating the parched corn which Boaz hauded
to her. The customs of society, of course, have changed, and without the
hardships and exposure to which Ruth was subjected, every intelligent woman
will find something to do.
I know there is a sickly sentimentality on this subject. In some families
there are persons of no practical service to the household or community ; and
though there are so many woes all around about them in the world, they
spend their time languishing over a new pattern, or bursting into tears at
midnight over the story of some lover who shot himself They would not
deign to look at Ruth carrying back the barley on her way home to her
mother-in-law, Naomi. All this fastidiousness may seem to do very well while
they are under the shelter of their father's house ; but when the sharp winter
of misfortune comes, what of these butterflies ? Persons under indulgent parentage ma}^ get upon themselves habits of indolence ; but when the}^ come
out into practical life their souls will recoil with disgust and chagrin. They
will feel in their hearts what the poet so severely- satirized when he said
:
Folks are so awkward, things so impolite,
They're elegantly pained from morning till night.
Through that gate of indolence how many men and women have marched,
useless on earth, to a destroyed eternity-! Spinola said to Sir Horace Vere
:
" Of what did your brother die ?"
" Of having nothing to do," was the answer.
"Ah," said Spinola, " that's enough to kill any general of us.'
Oh ! can it be possible in this world, where there is so much suffering to
be alleviated, so much darkness to be enlightened, and so man}' burdens to be
carried, that there is au}^ person who cannot find anything to do ?
Mme. De Stael did a world of work in her time ; and, one day, while she
was seated amid instruments of music, all of which she had mastered, and
amid manuscript books which she had written, some one said to her
:
" How do 3' on find time to attend to all these things ?"
" Oh," she replied, " these are not the things I am proud of. My chief
boast is in the fact that I have seventeen trades, by any one of which I
could make a livelihood if necessary."
Elihu Burritt learned many things while toiling in a blacksmith's shop.
Abercrombie, the world-renowned philosopher, was a philosopher in Scotland,
and he got his philosophy, or the chief part of it, while, as a physician, he
was waiting for the door of the sick room to open. Yet how many there are
in this day who say they are so busy they have no time for mental or spiritual
improvement ; the great duties of life cross the field like strong reapers
and carry off all the hours, and there is only here and there a fragment left
that is not worth gleaning. Ah, my friends, you could go into the busiest
day and busiest week of your life and find golden opportunities, which, gathered,
might at least make a whole sheaf for the Lord's garner. It is the
stray opportunities and the stray privileges which, taken up and bound
together and beaten out, will at last fill you with abounding joy.
There are a few moments left worth the gleaning. Now, Ruth, to the
field ! May each one have a measure full and running over ! O you gleaners,
to the field ! And if there be in your household an aged one or a sick relative
that is not strong enough to come forth and toil in this field, then let
Ruth take home to feeble Naomi this sheaf of gleaning : " He that goeth
forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with
rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." May the Lord God of Ruth and
Naomi be our portion forever!

THE A AND THE Z by Talmage

THE A AND THE Z by T, DeWitt Talmage



Christ is the A and the Z of the Christian ministry. A sermon that has no Christ is a dead failure. The minister who devotes his pulpit to anything but Christ is an imposter. Whatever great themes we may discuss, Christ must be the beginning and Christ the end. From His hand we get our commission at first, and to that same hand we at last surrender it. Though the colleges may give you a diploma, and Presbytery lay their hands on your head, if Christ send you not forth, you go on a fool's errand; and though the schools reject you as incompetent, if the, Lord God tells you to preach, you have a right to go, and there is at least one pulpit in the land where your right to proclaim the Gospel is acknowledged. A sermon devoted to metaphysics is a stack of dry corn-stalks after the corn has been ripped out with the husking-peg. A sermon given up to sentimental and flowery speech is as a nosegay flung to a drowning sailor. A sermon devoted to moral essay is a basket of chips to help on the great burning. What the world wants now is to be told in the most flatfooted way of Jesus Christ, who comes to save men from eternal damnation. Christ the Light, Christ the Sacrifice, Christ the Rock, Christ the Star, Christ the Balm, Christ the Guide. If a minister should live one thousand years, and preach ten sermons each day, those subjects would not be exhausted. Do you find men tempted? Tell them of Christ the Shield. Or troubled? Tell them of Christ the Comfort. Or guilty? Tell them of Christ the Pardon. Or dying? Tell them of Christ the Life. Scores of ministers, yielding to the demands of the age for elegant rhetoric, and soft speech, and flattering terms, have surrendered their pulpits to the devil, "horse, foot, and dragoon." May Christ be the burden of our talk; Christ the inspiration of our prayers; Christ the theme of our songs; Christ now, and Christ forever. In that stern hour when we feel that we shall never preach again, and we have ascended for the last time the pulpit, all but Christ will be nothing. Philosophy nothing; denominations nothing; conferences nothing; assemblies nothing; ourselves nothing, but CHRIST EVERYTHING!

Food for thought:

Alexander Maclaren (1826-1910):
“In such a world as this, with such hearts as ours, weakness is wickedness in the long run. Whoever lets himself be shaped and guided by any thing lower than an inflexible will, fixed in obedience to God, will in the end be shaped into a deformity, and guided to wreck and ruin.”